Life is short, Be mindful

Dr. Most Venerable
Mirisse Dhammika Nayaka Thero

The Buddha understood Nanda’s youthful mind. He neither imposed any restrictive measures to insult or punish him nor did He try to isolate him. The greatest psychiatrist, the Buddha reached out to Nanda’s mind.

The Buddha once addressed his step sister Theri Nanda. “Nanda, please look at this body. Even though it is attractive and seductive, it is messy and vulnerable to disease and decay. Thus, look prudently at the real nature of the body. Concentrate your mind”. This advice helped Theri Nanda to realize the impermanent nature of the body and attain sainthood (Arahantship). It is important to analyze the above statement of the Buddha.

He never rejected the idea of keeping the body healthy, clean and dressed with beautiful attire. The Vinaya and the Sutra Pitakas contain many discourses about cleanliness and orderliness of the body. One can retrospectively recognize the erroneous occasions in one’s life caused by appearance and attractiveness of the body.

If one is arrogant of the attractiveness of one’s own body or apparels and humiliates another, it is unworthy and unwholesome. For a moment, let us free ourselves from the material world and go to a hospital to see the true nature of life. We see many patients who are powerless, deformed and less attractive due to illness. If we feel their pain and suffering even briefly, it is a victory for us. One might ask what kind of victory is it.

Indeed, it enables us to understand the true nature of life within our world full of illusions; thus, it becomes a victory. It is quite common that we buy insurance policies to protect us from disease, illness and future economic discomfort. We have to insure ourselves against selfishness, insulting others, unkindness, ill-will, arrogance etc. through creating our own policies rich in loving kindness, compassion, tolerance, equanimity, humility and benevolence.

Beauty in Youth

The day that Prince Nanda, the step brother of the Buddha became a monk was a sad day for him. He thought his drams were shattered. Nanda also had dreams like any other youth his age. He dreamed of a gorgeous palace, a beautiful queen in his wife and a happy life as heir to the throne of his country.

Nanada waited anxiously until the day his dreams were fulfilled. Then the Buddha paid a visit to the palace. King Sudhodana was overjoyed because his elder son had come home after a long time. Like any father, the King was happy to see his younger son Nanda succeed him as the King. But events changed. Nanda carried the Buddha’s alms bowl and followed Him to the monastery.

He became a monk because he could not disregard the words of the Buddha. Even though Nanda wore robes, his mind was somewhere else. Chasing thoughts until gratification is the nature of youth.

The Buddha understood Nanda’s youthful mind. He neither imposed any restrictive measures to insult or punish him nor did He try to isolate him. The greatest psychiatrist, the Buddha reached out to Nanda’s mind. During a walk through a charred forest, the Buddha showed him a mutilated body of a female monkey. Walking with him further, He showed Nanda a group of majestically beautiful young women. Nanda was flabbergasted and thought “these young women are so beautiful; the princess that I am supposed to marry is much like the mutilated female monkey compared to them”. This experience was adequate for Nanda to realize the illusory nature of the mind and shortly thereafter he attained sainthood.

The beauty of youth is gratifying. However, if the young mind is not disciplined, the gratification may be lost. Often, experience shows that the lack of discipline is the root cause for shattered dreams in the young mind. Youthful activities will have a long lasting effect throughout one’s entire life. Many adults regret their past because of unwise decisions made during their youth. It is imperative to discipline the mind when young, if one plans happiness throughout life.

Some parents live in harmony with their young offspring whereas others dwell in disharmony. During the childhood, parents may set good examples and give right advice to their young ones. The child’s mind absorbs information with less resistance compared to an adolescent mind. However, if situations are handled wisely with care, kind words and providing appropriate solutions, parents may find it easy to resolve problems with their young. The young love freedom. If it is made available to them under right guidance, it would lead to progress and happiness. Beauty in youth is boundless.

Whom Do You Love?

King Kosala, a contemporary of the Buddha, asked his wife Queen Mallika ‘my dearest Mallika, whom do you love the most in this world”? She said “My Great King, I love myself the most”.

King Kosala was hurt and brought this colloquy to the Buddha for analysis. The Buddha stated that Queen Mallika’s answer was correct and true to all worldly beings. Probably, every one of us has asked this question from someone in our lives; it may be man from the wife and vice versa or children from parents or those who have fallen in love with each other. The answers may differ from that of Mallika’s.

Why does an infant cry? There is a multitude of reasons such as hunger and thirst etc. When hunger is eliminated, crying stops. What does this mean? Even though an infant doesn’t know the parents well, it loves them because they provide food and tender care. All this makes the infant happy. If parents leave the child in the hands of a caregiver, the child will love profoundly the caregiver who provides the necessities such as love, tenderness, care and food. If one offers love and care to others, one will receive them too.

A noble bondage that connects parents with children is love. It is a condition caused by ego-centred attachment. When offspring are successful in their education or in a career, the parents become extremely happy because it is their accomplishment. This becomes evident in a family with a number of children. Often, the child who excels in every aspect experiences profound parental love because of the accomplishment of parental expectation. It reveals that this noble love is egocentric.

According to the Buddha’s Teachings rebirth is caused due to egocentric attachment. It is firmly anchored in the sub-conscious mind. Loosening this grip of attachment and its final eradication are known as Nibbana. Anyone who loves oneself has to be sorrowless not only in this birth but also in the infinite path of samsara (infinite deaths and rebirths). The state of sorrowlessness can be achieved by following the peaceful path taught by all Buddhas .

Be free from all unwholesome things; Amas all wholesome thins; Lierate the mind of all defilements.